Living in a Gridlocked Cage: Mental Rigidity in a Programmed World
In modern life, we find ourselves trapped in an invisible cage of rigidity and structure. From the moment we wake up until we go to bed, we are immersed in a gridlocked system that dictates our actions, our expectations, and even our thoughts. This rigidity manifests in multiple aspects of our daily lives.
Imagine this common scene: you are waiting for the bus to get to work. You have woken up at the same time every day for years, aware that the bus will pass by promptly at 7:30 a.m. However, today, due to an unforeseen circumstance, the bus is late. This simple deviation from the norm triggers a wave of tension and anxiety. Why? Because we have been conditioned to live in a world where every minute is meticulously scheduled, and any deviation is seen as a threat to the established order.
We are constantly under pressure to meet pre-established expectations and norms, which prevents us from being flexible and adapting to new circumstances. We face a dilemma: on one hand, we crave freedom and spontaneity, but on the other hand, we feel trapped in a web of rigidity that prevents us from being truly flexible. Where is the line between routines and rigid mindset?
When does a routine healthy lifestyle become a trap?
Routines can be beneficial for establishing healthy habits and maintaining consistency in health-promoting behaviors. Routines provide structure and can help individuals stay on track with their goals, whether they relate to physical activity, nutrition, sleep, or stress management.
Routines themselves are not inherently rigid, but the way individuals approach and adhere to them can reveal underlying attitudes and behaviors. For some people, routines serve as a way to exert control, avoid uncertainty, or cope with anxiety. They may become overly attached to their routines, rigidly adhering to them even when they no longer serve their best interests. This inflexibility can indicate a deeper reluctance to adapt to change or a fear of stepping outside of one’s comfort zone.
How can a rigid mindset impact our birth experience?
A rigid mindset can significantly impact our birth experience in various ways. When we approach childbirth with rigid expectations and a strong attachment to a specific birth plan, we may experience heightened stress and anxiety if things deviate from our expectations. This stress can hinder the natural progression of labor and may even lead to complications.
Moreover, a rigid mindset can prevent us from fully embracing the birthing process and adapting to changing circumstances. Instead of remaining open-minded and flexible, we may become fixated on controlling every aspect of birth, which can impede our ability to cope with discomfort or the new path that birth could take.
What are the benefits of facing childbirth with an open and flexible mindset?
Childbirth is a transformative experience filled with anticipation and sometimes anxiety. Maintaining a flexible mindset during this dynamic process is crucial for the well-being of both the mother and her baby.
Flexibility allows for adaptability to changing circumstances that may arise during labor. It empowers the mom to-be to make informed decisions in real-time and reduces stress by promoting openness and acceptance.
A flexible mindset fosters better communication and collaboration with healthcare professionals and support persons, enhancing the birthing experience. By embracing the unknown and surrendering to the natural flow of childbirth, satisfaction levels tend to increase.
How to maintain a flexible mindset during childbirth while living in a world characterized by mental rigidity and programmed expectations.
In our modern society, where routines and schedules dictate much of our daily lives, it can be challenging to cultivate a flexible mindset, especially during significant events like childbirth.
By incorporating these strategies into your childbirth preparation, you can maintain a flexible mindset even in the face of mental rigidity and programmed expectations. Embracing flexibility allows you to approach childbirth with ease, confidence, and empowerment, regardless of external pressures.
- Mindful Awareness: This involves staying present and attentive to the sensations of your body and breath during childbirth. By practicing mindfulness, you can approach the experience with greater flexibility, openness, and resilience.
It involves practicing techniques to stay calm and open-minded during the experience. Here’s a simplified explanation with examples:
Imagine you’re in labor, feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of contractions and anxious about what’s to come. Instead of getting lost in worries or fixating on how things should be, you practice mindful awareness.
You start by taking slow, deep breaths, focusing on the sensation of each inhale and exhale. You notice the rise and fall of your belly with each breath, grounding yourself in the physical sensations of your body.
By paying attention to your breath, you become more aware of the present moment, letting go of rigid thoughts or expectations.
As you breathe mindfully, you become more attuned to the sensations in your body. You observe the ebb and flow of contractions without resisting or fighting against them. Rather than tensing up with fear or discomfort, you approach each contraction with openness and acceptance, trusting in your body’s ability to birth your baby.
- Challenge Preconceived Ideas: It means questioning the ideas and beliefs that society tells us about childbirth. By this, you open yourself up to new possibilities. Instead of feeling limited by what society says, about the unique acceptable type of birth, about the discomfort or pain of childbirth…you feel empowered to make choices that are right for YOU and YOUR BABY. And that’s what matters in the end. Don’t ever feel the need to justify the kind of birth that you would like to have, or the decisions made during your birth.
- Release Expectations: It means not getting too stuck on how you think childbirth should happen.
Imagine you’ve made a birth plan that lays out exactly how you want things to go during childbirth. You’ve imagined it going a certain way, but you know that things don’t always go according to plan.
Instead of holding onto your plan too tightly, you decide to release your expectations. You remind yourself that childbirth can be unpredictable, and it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as you hoped.
You still have your preferences and priorities, but you’re open to adjusting them if needed.
By releasing expectations, you’re able to go with the flow and adapt to whatever comes your way with gratefulness and positivism.
- Embrace Uncertainty: By embracing uncertainty, you free yourself from the need to control every aspect of childbirth. Instead of worrying about what might happen, you focus on trusting yourself and your body to guide you through the experience.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion throughout the childbirth process. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, including fear and vulnerability. By offering yourself kindness and understanding, you can navigate the challenges of childbirth with greater resilience and flexibility.
Should we have a birth plan?
By this point, you may realize that being flexible during childbirth is indeed beneficial, and now you are more than ready to implement those interventions to become more flexible-minded towards childbirth. However, a question might arise:
Should I create a birth plan or not?Whether or not to create a birth plan is a personal decision that depends on individual preferences and circumstances. Here are some factors to consider why to do one:
- Desired Level of Control: A birth plan can provide a sense of control and empowerment by outlining preferences and expectations for labor and delivery. It allows you to communicate your wishes to your healthcare team and advocate for the type of birth experience you desire.
- Communication with Healthcare Providers: A birth plan can facilitate communication with your healthcare providers by clarifying your preferences and priorities. It gives them insight into your goals for childbirth and helps ensure that your wishes are respected during labor and delivery.
- Managing Expectations: Creating a birth plan can help you and your partner discuss and clarify your expectations for childbirth. It provides an opportunity to explore different options and scenarios, leading to a better understanding of what to expect during labor and delivery.
- Flexibility and Adaptability: While a birth plan can be helpful in guiding decision-making, it’s essential to remain flexible and open to changes as labor progresses. Childbirth can be unpredictable, and plans may need to be adjusted based on evolving circumstances.
How to create an open-minded birth plan
By creating a birth plan with an open-minded approach, you can feel empowered and prepared for the birthing experience while remaining flexible and adaptable to changes as they occur. We can begin by naming it differently, changing the word “plan,” which may seem somewhat narrow-minded, to “birth proposal” or “birth preferences” or giving it a completely different name.
- Include Contingencies: Incorporate contingency plans into your birth plan in case things don’t go as expected. Outline alternative options and preferences for different scenarios.
- Trust Your Instincts: Trust yourself and your instincts throughout the birthing process. Listen to your body and advocate for your needs and preferences as they arise.
- Stay Positive: Approach the birth plan creation process with a positive mindset. Focus on what you can control and maintain confidence in your ability to navigate whatever comes your way during childbirth.
- 2 or 3 better than just a unique one: Creating multiple birth scenarios instead of a single birth plan will help you question different paths childbirth can take, and think about what behavior you would like to have in each different scenario.
- Educate Yourself: Learn about different birthing options, interventions, and potential outcomes. This knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions during labor and birth.
- Consider Preferences: Reflect on your preferences and priorities for childbirth. Think about what matters most to you and what you envision for your birthing experience.
- Be Flexible: Recognize that childbirth can be unpredictable, and plans may need to change. Stay open to alternative approaches and be prepared to adapt as needed.
- Communicate Clearly: Communicate your preferences and priorities to your healthcare provider. Discuss any concerns or questions you may have and work together to create a plan that aligns with your values.
Keep in mind...
Every woman’s birth experience is unique, and it’s important for expectant mothers to feel empowered to make decisions that align with their preferences and values. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to childbirth, and each woman should feel confident in advocating for the kind of birth experience that feels right for her and her baby. It’s essential to trust your instincts, communicate openly with your healthcare providers, and make informed decisions that prioritize the well-being of both you and your baby. Whether you choose a medicated or unmediated birth, a hospital or home birth, or any other option, the most important thing is that you feel supported, respected, and empowered throughout the process.
Whatever path you choose, whether with or without documented birth preferences, trust in yourself. Maintain a positive outlook, seek guidance from trustworthy sources, and actively embrace the unfolding of this special moment in your life. Here, your instincts will strive to guide you through a world governed by rules, schedules, norms, and expectations. Remember, this is your moment, and your baby is an integral part of it. Approach this amazing journey in your life with generosity and kindness, recognizing that it’s not only your journey but also your baby’s. You’ve got this! Believe in yourself, let go, and savor the journey.