Why? what? where? when? how? which? who? ....
What will my baby be like? Will he/she have my eyes? What will childbirth be like, and where will it happen? And when? How will my body continue to transform in the coming weeks? What kind of mother will I be? How will it impact my relationship with my partner? What will I feel when I see my baby for the first time? What will my body look like after giving birth? Will my baby love me? Will I know what to do? How will I feed my baby? How will I know when I’m in labor? Is my baby okay right now? Why can’t I stop asking myself questions that I can’t answer 99% of the time? Has it always been like this? Or do I feel like pregnancy comes with more uncertainty than other periods of life?
Why can’t I stop asking questions that I don’t have answers to? Uncertainty is exhausting… Definitely, it is, and perhaps, in a way, pregnancy seems to amplify this feeling that no matter how many doubts race through your mind at a dizzying speed, there’s no way to answer practically any of them. The truth is that every human being lives with uncertainty.
What is uncertainty?
Uncertainty refers to a lack of certainty or confidence about something, often accompanied by doubt or unpredictability. It’s the state of not knowing what will happen or how to proceed in a given situation. Uncertainty can arise from various factors, such as incomplete information, ambiguity, or complexity. It’s a common experience in life and can be unsettling or challenging to navigate.
Why can uncertainty feel draining of energy?
As humans, we become conscious of uncertainty from a very young age. It starts with simple experiences like not knowing what will happen next in a story or not understanding why certain things occur. As we grow older, we encounter more complex uncertainties. Throughout life, we continuously grapple with uncertainty in various forms, and our awareness of it deepens as we gain more experience and understanding of the world around us.
Why can uncertainty feel draining of energy?
These are some of the reasons behind this human feeling:
- Lack of Control: Uncertainty often arises when we feel like we have little or no control over a situation.
- Fear of the Unknown: The unknown can be scary, as it represents potential risks and challenges that we may not feel prepared to face.
- Decision-Making Paralysis: When faced with uncertainty, some people may struggle to make decisions, fearing that they will make the wrong choice.
- Cognitive Load: Constantly trying to make sense of uncertain situations can be mentally exhausting. The cognitive load of processing information, weighing options, and anticipating outcomes can drain our mental resources.
Overall, uncertainty can be overwhelming because it challenges our sense of security, control, and predictability, leading to emotional and cognitive strain.
Why does this exhausted feeling seem even stronger during pregnancy?
This will be of course individual to every pregnant woman, but mostly all of the expecting mothers will share these feelings:
- Life-changing Transition: Pregnancy represents a significant life transition, often accompanied by various physical, emotional, and lifestyle changes.
- Health Concerns: Expectant mothers may experience concerns about their health and the health of their baby.
- Role Transition: Pregnancy marks the transition to parenthood, a role that many individuals may not feel fully prepared for.
- Lack of Control: Pregnancy involves numerous factors that are beyond an individual’s control, such as the development of the fetus, the timing and progression of labor, and the overall birth experience.
- Hormonal Changes: Hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can affect mood and emotional well-being, potentially amplifying feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.
- Social Pressure: Expectant mothers may feel pressure from society, family, and friends to have a certain experience or make specific decisions during pregnancy and childbirth. This external pressure can contribute to feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.
This natural response enhances performance, promotes resilience and protects the body from harm in the face of temporary stressors.
Is there any beauty in uncertainty?
As with most things in life, yes, you can find beauty and peace in such an overwhelming feeling.
Let’s break it down step by step to find reassurance and beauty, even if initially those feelings might trigger anxiety. By implementing these strategies, you can learn to navigate uncertainty with greater resilience and peace of mind.
Living with these feelings can be challenging, but there are strategies to cope with them.
Remember, you are stronger than you think!
- Acceptance: Acknowledge that there are some things beyond your control and focus on accepting them rather than resisting. Certainly, not all 100 questions that arise during pregnancy will have immediate answers, and finding acceptance amidst uncertainty isn’t always a simple task. Yet, you do wield control over your own mindset. So, when faced with those unanswered questions, consider this: Would you prefer to reside in anxiety or embrace acceptance?
- Focus on what you can control: Direct your energy towards aspects of the situation that you can influence or change. This may involve setting small, achievable goals, like joining our classes and programs :), that will make you feel better about it.
- Develop resilience: Build resilience by cultivating coping mechanisms such as positive thinking, and celebrating Milestones, no matter how small they may seem. Each step forward is a testament to your resilience and strength…
- Let go of perfectionism and releasing yourself from the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations is essential during pregnancy. Remember that growing a life inside you is a remarkable achievement in itself!
- Seek support: Talk to friends, and family, or join us in one of our pregnancy coaching sessions to talk about your feelings and experiences. Sharing your concerns with others can provide perspective and emotional support.
- Engage in self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being by prioritizing activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Aqua Natal sessions are wonderful for it!
- Practice gratitude: Focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for, even in the midst of uncertainty. Gratitude can help shift your perspective and foster a sense of contentment.
- Practice mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and focus on what you can do right now rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Be present during your pregnancy by celebrating every little movement of your baby and embracing the challenges of every unique day of pregnancy.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that pregnancy is a unique experience for each woman, and it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. Be flexible and adapt to changes as they arise.
- Educate Yourself from a registered midwife: Learn about the aspects of pregnancy and childbirth that you have control over, such as nutrition, exercise, relaxation techniques, and birth preferences. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions.
And remember...
To look for the beauty of this feeling…. The absence of certainty should enhance our appreciation for what we do know. Embrace the present moment fully—immerse yourself in it with all your senses. Dive into the now, savor it, feel it, and let the uncertainty of the future illuminate the beauty of the present.